List of Whitest Kids U' Know episodes

709:– National Hunting Board chairman and gun enthusiast Jerry Bronham (Trevor) talks about gun control on the debate show Point/Counterpoint, where he argues with host Barney Ballsack (Darren) over usage of handguns in common violent crimes, with other debate topics including guns that can shoot though bulletproof vests, and bullets that seek out baby skulls. After an aggravated Barney storms out of the studio, he is cornered by a street gang member (Sam) wearing a baby skull around his neck, who intends to assault him. Upon seeing this, Jerry loads a baby skull-seeking bullet and fires it at the gang member, only for it to fly off course and shoot a nearby baby in the arms of its mother. As the mother screams out in horror, Jerry slowly slinks back into the TV studio. 1447:- After Dad (Timmy) talks to his sons about his newfound sex life and leaves for the store with Mom (Darren), (Trevor) and (Zach) fool around with a nail gun, and Trevor accidentally kills (Sam) with it. The two remaining brothers manage to bring him back to life with the Necronomicon. However, upon the parents’ return, they are found out when Sam begins uttering Hell-speak, and he is splashed with holy water. Although Mom and Dad praise Trevor and Zach for their smart thinking and use of the Necronomicon, they ground them, and also find out why Sam went straight to Hell instead of Purgatory upon being killed with the nail gun - he is in possession of a stash of pornography, which they confiscate as a result. 253:- In kindergarten class, the teacher (Darren) plays a guessing game about the sudden death of one child's mother in a car accident, resulting in a traumatic experience for the child, Joey (Timmy), which ends with poor Joey running out of the classroom in tears. The teacher actually lied, saying she hated Joey, and that it was actually Scotty (Trevor) whose mother died. Upon hearing this, Scotty celebrates around town, doing whatever he wants, because his parents are dead. Following this segment, Trevor demonstrates the special effect used towards the end of the sketch where footage of him in front of a blue screen was added to footage of a black person. 1286:(Sam) drops in on sniper Lee Harvey Oswald (Trevor) at the Dallas Book Depository, as part of a planned assassination, which throws Oswald off course and leads to an argument between them over how Oswald wants to carry the assassination out. Meanwhile, Kennedy is driven mad by his prodding wife, Jackie (Timmy), who requests that the driver of their car (Darren) play an incredibly annoying song. Oswald and Kennedy, both fed up with their current situations, sing a duet from afar, dreaming of a world where they can do what they want without trouble. Ultimately, someone else shoots Kennedy, and Oswald flees the scene upon prompting from Johnson. 489:- Trevor hosts a dating game, where the contestant, Barbara (Darren), gets nothing but misogynistic responses of sexual desire from the three bachelors, Sam, Zach, and Timmy. The sketch then is revealed to have been performed as a sketch to criticize offensiveness, only for the cast members to be kicked off the set for various reasons; Timmy for an anti-Semitic remark, Zach claiming to be dating an underage girl, and Trevor advocating violence against the baby boomer generation. Sam, the only one left (aside from Darren in the background), ends the sketch with an offensive remark against Latin-Americans. 4121:- Various schoolchildren show off their Halloween costumes to the class, only for the teacher (Timmy) to send both Jacob (Darren) and Brian (Sam) to the principal's office for swearing, although they insist they can because they are a pirate and a cowboy, respectively. The teacher informs student Taylor (Trevor), who is dressed as a clown, that he is not allowed to swear in character even though it's Halloween. Taylor accepts, but gets sent to the principal's office for masturbating in front of the class. Taylor insists, "What? I'm a clown!" 1419:- (Trevor) finds a man (Darren) kicking another man (Sam) for killing his children, but when it’s revealed that the man being assaulted was an executioner who executed the man’s children on Death Row, it leads (Trevor) to switch sides and begin kicking (Darren). The cycle repeats until (Trevor) finds out that both men are guilty of something, and begins kicking both. It is then revealed that this was the origin of a popular dance at bars and speakeasies known as "You Son of a Bitch". 3497:- While a father (Zach) tries to educate his son (Timmy) on death when his pet hamster Tickles dies, things take a turn for the disturbing when the Grim Reaper shows up to consume the hamster's body. The father claims it's all part of the cycle of life, recalling when he was a child, when his grandmother died: it's revealed that the Grim Reaper ate the grandmother's body and then defecated into the grandmother's coffin at her funeral. 3792:- A homeless man (Zach) and his family (Darren and Timmy) yell at a camera about how their toddler daughter got them evicted from their apartment. It isn't long before it's discovered that the homeless man is found out to be a lunatic making it all up, as there are no cameras nor a wife and son, although the daughter is present. A nearby bakery worker (Trevor) calls the cops when the homeless man flees the scene. 1351:- Before Marie Antoinette (Timmy) is beheaded, one of the executioners (Trevor) asks her to help him settle a bet with Darren. Trevor claims that the human head can stay alive for up to minutes after being cut off by the guillotine, and asks her to try and recite the alphabet before she dies. Her head is cut off, and she fails to do so. Rinse and repeat two more times with two more men sentenced to execution. 1765:- Jenkins (Zach) is warned by his war-hungry boss Mr. Welburn (Trevor) that there's a sniper on the roof of the headquarters of rival company Bergman-Sachs’ building across the street - hired to prevent a merger between the two corporations. A shocked and confused Jenkins watches his boss teach him how to handle these matters, by equipping a sniper rifle and taking down the sniper at Bergman-Sachs. 674:- At an execution, the firing squad, consisting of Sam, Zach, and Darren, only have one bullet amongst them all to kill convicted traitor Frank Rosenthorp (Timmy). This way, nobody will know who fired the shot, and no one is to feel any guilt over killing him. This leads to trouble when Trevor attempts to carry out the execution, having to shuffle around the guns quite a few times. 1454:- Kids' television programs are repeatedly pulled from the air "due to reckless irresponsibility". These include shows involving young Billy Matherson becoming a superhero known as "Electro Boy" after sticking a fork in an electrical outlet, a boy befriending a pedophile (Timmy) in "My Secret Friend", and two children planning to rape their attractive babysitter. 531:- During a play at Ford’s Theatre, John Wilkes Booth (Trevor) repeatedly assaults Abraham Lincoln (Zach) with items such as a phone book, an orange, and his shoe, and even throws his stovepipe hat off of the balcony. Lincoln constantly calls for his security guard (Darren), when all he wants to do is enjoy the play in peace with his wife Mary (Timmy). 3882:- A fast food chain is forced by their corporate office to sell a new product called "ButterBar", which is essentially a stick of butter. Things go from bad to worse when a young boy buys and eats two ButterBars from the two employees at the counter (Trevor and Sam), and gets sick, resulting in them both getting a scolding from a fellow employee. 1085:- It takes a racist-sounding "fish out of water" story for a television pitch to go well -- or so Zach thinks. Unfortunately, all of his ideas, including 'Yuppie-Indentured Servant", "Black Doctor" "Jewtown", "Too Many Lesbos", and "What's The Deal With Mexican Tits?" are shot down by network executive Trevor. 2828:(Trevor) is told by a talking dog to shoot President Reagan - but the dog is actually a mechanical decoy set up by Vice President George H.W. Bush (Sam) in an attempt to assume the presidency. John ends up getting distracted and begins talking about movies with the exasperated dog (Bush), until John mentions 3785:- A rundown of crime novels written by Susan Merriweather, with their titles following the format of starting with a letter of the alphabet; it becomes clear that Merriweather has become exasperated and depressed at the fact that her contract forced her into making a novel for every letter of the alphabet. 777:- Forgetful Sandra (Sam) and her husband (Zach) prepare to enact a role-playing fantasy involving rape. In order to ensure Sandra doesn't forget that it is only role play and alert the police again, her husband gives her a safety word, "banana", to use if she wants to stop role playing, which she forgets. 1608:- Daddy's little girl Nancy (Zach) introduces her new beau d'Artagnan (Sam) to her parents, (Trevor and Timmy), only for her desires to “live underwater” with him to be shot down by her father, who claims they cannot survive without oxygen. Nancy however thinks it is because he doesn’t like d'Artagnan. 2810:- At a boardroom meeting, an executive (Zach) finds a commercial for Fizzy-Pops Grape Blast soda questionable, as he alleges that it alludes to rape - much to the disbelief and chagrin of the head of the boardroom (Trevor). It doesn't seem to help that the mascot (Sam) is named the Grapist. 660:- As a school project, 6-year-old Danny Mathison (Timmy) sends a letter to the black people of the world, apologizing for slavery in the United States, as well as any other such things to befall black people in years past. In response, the black people write back an angry, hostile message. 756:- On the last day of high school, seniors Darren and Timmy have to do a "cause and effect" exercise that counts for 50% of their grade. Timmy creeps Darren out with homo-erotic pantomiming, and Darren’s objections lead his teacher (Zach) to give him a failing grade for the school year. 4854:- A couple (Trevor and Darren) learn that through modern medical science, they can choose individual genetic traits of their baby. The decisions get difficult when they're asked to choose a race, sexual orientation, and disability status by a doctor who's black, gay, and missing a leg. 4675:- A spokesman for the Pentagon (Zach) updates the nation on the state of the zombie apocalypse: it has been discovered that zombies will eventually turn back into humans. Despite this fact, those that mistakenly killed zombies before they turned back will not be tried for murder. 3682:- At a restaurant, two crude men named Phil and Colin (Darren and Sam) loudly state that Phil's salad tastes like pussy. It turns out to be a scheme set up by their coworker Harold (Trevor) - who is sitting at a nearby table - to expose his young son (Timmy) for eating pussy. 2372:- A company CEO (Trevor) brings an unexpected distraction into the meeting room - a Vietnamese prostitute who tried to steal from his wallet. The boss tries to keep the other workers on track, but it gets harder to concentrate when the prostitute's pimp arrives. 125:- At Ford's Theatre, during a bizarre production of Hamlet involving vampires, heckler Abe Lincoln (Zach) agitates audience member John Wilkes Booth (Trevor), which leads him to run up to Lincoln's booth with a hammer and hammer him in the ass to death. 3593:- (Trevor's) restaurant gets a visit from a health inspector (Darren), who is suspicious of the restaurant serving cat meat, as the restaurant is named, "It's Not Kittens, It's Chicken". The health inspector soon finds that the restaurant serves dogs. 1426:- When Billy (Trevor) tells his class at school that he taught a whale to "jump out of its tail" over the summer, his teacher, Ms. Lambert (Zach) doesn't believe him, and goes out of her way on a wild goose chase in an attempt to prove him wrong. 2532:- At the office, Trevor thinks a girl with testicles (but not a penis) would be hot, but he has trouble convincing his co-workers (Sam and Zach). It isn't until the end of the sketch that it is revealed that the office is for a popcorn factory. 3430:- A road accident between a businessman (Sam) and a cyclist (Zach) results in road rage, which is taken all the way to the hospital, then to court. It doesn't help that nobody understands anything unrelated to their own fields and professions. 991:- For a change, Trevor gives Jim a nice surprise - a puppy. When Jim objects, saying that he doesn't have the time or space for owning a puppy, Trevor tells him not to worry, as the puppy, appropriately named "Wormy", is terminally ill. 3628:- Jerry (Trevor) shows new employee Timmy the ropes as a waiter at Jack Off's Slop Shop, where it is customary for the waiters to insult the patrons. Timmy, however, ends up coming off as flat-out vulgar and offensive with his insults. 4626:- In this multi-part series, Sam and Trevor get acquainted with their company, who all almost immediately die in battle. Sam and Trevor's photos are taken in battle, and they begin to become known across the nation as war heroes. 4594:- A worker in a baby factory named Doug (Trevor) keeps sending babies to overpopulated places and to mothers that can't afford babies. When one of his higher-ups (Sam) confronts him about this behavior, he begins killing babies. 2756:- Billy Masterson (Timmy) gets his own genie (Sam), who is forced to carry out his three wishes - to kill his teacher, to let him have sex with 12th grader Megan Weldley, and to become President of the United States of America. 4702:- Billy (Timmy) is chatting with an online friend when his mom (Sam) walks in the room. She sees the chat and misunderstands the word "MILF", believing it to be a compliment, until Billy is forced to explain it to her. 407:- At a restaurant, Zach tells his girlfriend (Darren) that he has a brain tumor. They cry, until the waiter (Trevor) arrives and announces the specials, one of which is the clam chowder that gets rid of brain tumors. 3328:- At the Homeware store, an employee (Zach) advises a customer (Sam) against using a particularly strong vacuum for oral sex simulation, despite the customer's insistence that he only intends to clean his apartment. 5030:- The evening news loses a long-time reporter and decides to replace her with several young, attractive people. The reporter Skyler "Scooby" Jensen (Trevor) reports on the Republican debate -- it was pretty good. 428:- In a courtroom, Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor) informs the jury that Opposite Day has just begun, and gets into a battle of wits with the prosecutor (Zach). The sketch ends with another topless plug for WKUK on DVD. 1540:- A record label signs a band with an unusual name. Their debut CD is titled "No Seriously, All Of Us At The Label Are Gay Dudes. This Is Just Our Way Of Coming Out." This results in an awkward press conference. 3124:- In the year 2027, the Nazis (Timmy, Trevor) are on the hunt for jerks, not Jews. When they suspect a citizen (Zach) of harboring a jerk (Sam), they bring in a nerd (Darren) in an attempt to coax out the jerk. 2770:- At a fast-food restaurant, employee Brian (Trevor) is on the job while sick, and vomits in front of the customers in line to order, resulting in him getting fired by his manager, Mr. Legursky (Zach). 4421:- Two children (Darren and Timmy) inform their father (Trevor) that it's bikini day at the zoo, and that they put bikinis on the animals. He discovers that they were tricking him into an intervention. 3416:- (Trevor) tries to ease the pain of shooting his horse Clover while working on his DeNiro and Eastwood impressions. He forces his daughter Lindsey to assist him by sounding out the Terminator theme. 2210:- Gandalf (Trevor) is greeted by an angry Fellowship, who gripe with how he didn't use his giant eagle companion sooner, accuse him of not being magic - and ultimately, in a fit of rage, rape him. 1923:- Blackout sketch. Trevor, posing as Sonic, is punched by a mugger (Darren); all of the coins in Sonic’s hands are scattered everywhere (in a similar fashion to the rings the character collects). 5051:- In the conclusion to this multi-part series, Sam and Trevor beat the Confederacy and end the Civil War, discovering that the war was about slavery and that marijuana was legal the entire time. 4453:- In this multi-part series, Sam and Trevor organize a demonstration to legalize marijuana. What they don't realize is that they organized the demonstration on the exact day and location as the 1676:- Boiler room repairman Clark (Trevor) has little sympathy for the yacht passengers in danger of drowning, as he makes constant remarks about the yacht crew’s lack of proper boiler maintenance. 2882:-style show compete to see who can kill themselves in the most creative and/or impressive ways. A woman named Cheyenne (Trevor) is the only contestant to move on to the callbacks in Hollywood. 770:- After picking up a card with a seductive message, (Trevor) arms himself with a baseball bat as he follows a trail of rose petals upstairs, thinking there's a flower monster in the bedroom. 3810:- Timmy finds that he is ejaculating confetti. It doesn't stop there, as his "cumfetti" impregnates his wife (Zach), which results in news breaking out of the world's first "cumfetti baby". 3389:- Darren apologizes in advance for the next segment, which is an attempt by IFC to reel in viewers flipping past channels; the sketch is a suspense-builder which turns into a cheap shot at 132:- When his wife serves him Mama John's Pizza Bagels for breakfast, Sam becomes infuriated, insisting - "PIZZA'S NOT FOR BREAKFAST!" then violently beats his wife offscreen with his belt. 4531:- Some S.W.A.T. commandos discuss their raid plan, where they will inform each other every time one of the criminals points a gun at them. Meanwhile, the criminals make a similar plan. 1519:- At the office, Darren's co-workers (Trevor, Sam, and Zach) mess with his head while he's asleep, and realize they have a special power when they somehow cause his head to explode. 4538:- The pub MacDougal's is having a Lady's Night, where ladies drink free -- and Black Night, where black people drink half off... and White Night, where white people drink half off. 111:- At a boardroom meeting, Timmy defecates in his own pants and throws his own feces in the trash. An argument escalates as the other boardroom members find it infuriatingly gross. 2386:- During an earthquake, a news anchor (Timmy) accidentally swears on the air. During the anchor's trial, the earthquake stops, and everyone celebrates with shaken-up sodas. 393:- (Timmy) is out to assault everyone who dated his girlfriend in high school. Trevor and Timmy attempt to boost WKUK DVD sales by bringing in a woman who takes off her top. 5069: 4446:- The Whitest Kids U' Know are filming Darren in front of a green screen. They tell him they will edit a giraffe under him, but instead edit a mostly naked man under him. 5044:- Carla (Timmy) comes out as a lesbian to her parents, who believe it's just a phase. Her twin brother Timmy (Darren) comes out as gay, and they threaten to disown him. 931:- Billy (Zach) wants to play a bizarre pretend game, but Timmy would rather play Sega. Billy's dad (Trevor) makes him disappear by repeating "I don't believe in you". 314:- Trevor attempts to make his own "Super Size Me" documentary of himself consuming only whiskey. (note: several WKUK sketch titles are written on the wall in one shot) 3875:- (Darren) has a complaint about a pornographic film he bought, which he hoped would be a film about grandmas who were great, instead of a film about great grandmas. 379:- Trevor attempts to scare a baby by warning it of its future college tuition and global warming. When that doesn’t work, he manages to succeed by screaming loudly. 3131:- The losing team's coach (Sam) gets more respect than the winning team's coach (Timmy) by giving out trophies to every player on his team, even though they lost. 4325:- (Trevor) sings a hip-hop song about how he hated having to visit his grandmother's nursing home, until he found out how many drugs the seniors are prescribed. 4988:- In this multi-part series, Sam and Trevor avoid execution by giving General Grant important information about the Confederacy, switching sides to the Union. 791:- Two sitcom characters (Trevor, Sam) try to cover their tracks after consuming pot. The history behind the sketch is revealed in a long documentary segment. 2311:- Trent Reznor's (Trevor) arrogant ex-girlfriend (Zach) pays him a visit just to torture him emotionally, causing him to write another Grammy-winning album. 4619:- A commercial for a nicotine delivery device meant to cure people's nicotine addictions via its phallic shape and its usage being resemblant of oral sex. 667:- An American exchange student (Sam) takes a hot air balloon ride with a British family (Trevor, Zach, Darren), and suddenly needs to use the water closet. 3402:- The WKUK are stranded in the frozen north, and have resorted to cannibalism. Only Sam and Timmy would eat a certain left over body part to stay alive. 1178:- Trevor sings a kids' song about how to stay out of trouble, by not disrespecting their parents, by not cheating on tests, and not making crystal meth. 4668:- (Trevor) sings a song about the fact that most major religions involve some kind of special hat, and this must mean that God wants you to wear a hat. 578:- Trevor flirts with danger in a PSA about it being illegal to state one's desire to kill the President of the United States of America on television. 4808:- In this multi-part series, the tribe that captured Sam, Trevor, and Doug throw a frat party and give Sam and Trevor peyote. The two of them ambush 211:- Enthusiastic mail worker Scott (Trevor) tries to quickly pitch movie ideas to the studio heads (Zach, Sam, Darren), and soon gets them all psyched. 571:- In a B&W sequence, (Trevor) finds himself in heaven with a beautiful fairy, a car, and a puppy in a hatbox. "Ask your doctor about suicide." 4060:- A policeman (Zach) tries to expose some unwelcome guests on a futuristic space colony where only humans (not cyborgs and ghosts) are permitted. 4439:- A father (Trevor) tries to discipline his family, but they keep escaping his reprimands by pretending that they're being carried away by ants. 2081:, (Trevor) and (Sam) make their way into a bar by disguising themselves as a tall person, and end up meeting another tall person (Zach, Timmy). 984:- 13-year-old Timmy's parents (Zach, Sam) trust him enough to leave him alone on his birthday, but won't let him live on a mountain of chairs. 620:- Two hunters named Bob and Jerry (Darren and Trevor) talk their way through the aftermath of accidentally shooting another hunter (Zach). 307:- At the hospital, a nurse (Darren) tells a pimp (Trevor) about the status of his whore. The pimp can’t help making several "whore" puns. 4956:- A narrator (Trevor) lists the worst orchestras of all time, only to trash talk Philadelphia Philharmonic for the New York Philharmonic. 1512:- The morose king (Zach) needs something special to please him. Captain Crunch (Darren) has the solution: a beautiful "mermaid" (Sam). 153:- Guitarist Trevor tells children in song how to get a new father - by framing their actual father as a pedophile to get them arrested. 4716:- In this multi-part series, Sam, Trevor, and their fellow soldier Doug (Darren) camp out. They are then captured by American Indians. 4414:- An infomercial for a herpes product called Vesocream that can be used to trick partners into thinking the user does not have herpes. 2716:- Debbie's (Sam) husband (Zach) has mastered the art of getting out of a dinner with his annoying wife and her annoying BFF (Trevor). 952:- A sophomore (Trevor) sells some new drugs -- two "screamers" and a "small world" -- to some impressed freshmen (Sam, Zach, Darren). 4552:- In this multi-part series, Sam and Trevor enlist in the Confederacy, believing they're fighting for the legalization of marijuana. 4545:- Earl Becker (Trevor) loses his hardware store and threatens to dig up people's family members' corpses until they send him money. 2502:- Darryl (Darren) wants to arouse his horse for insemination purposes. Chester's (Trevor) stegosaurus poster does the trick. 2393:- A song performed by the cast, about things that are hard to do, weird to do, or not advised to do, when you've got a boner. 2838:. The dog (Bush) claims to know Jodie Foster, and that he’ll “get to blow ” if he shoots Reagan, a deal to which he agrees. 1171:- Two peeping toms (Trevor, Timmy) watch a lady stripping from a window, and accidentally cause a chain of deaths to happen. 4682:- A father (Trevor) complains that his family expects him to do all the work, even as his family offers to do work for him. 3286:- Everyone thinks there's a bear in the ocean -- but it's a shark. Sailor Flynn (Trevor) gives a long speech about sharks. 2633:- Three ambassadors (Trevor, Sam, Timmy) have trouble negotiating with two very peculiar (and gross) aliens (Darren, Zach). 2462:- At NASA, the head scientist (Trevor) tries to make his team sever their close ties with Bobo, the first monkey in space. 442:- An enactment of the interaction between Europeans and Martians in 3024 predicts that the Martians will look like jerks. 2572:- Shoshon the Elegant, the White Tiger King (Trevor), wants to keep all the brown tigers out of the kingdom of Animalia. 917:- In excitement, Trevor breaks the door to producer Jim Biederman's office and gives a proposal with a perverse acronym. 2142:- Timmy is forced to explain his eating habits to his doctor, and his tendency for eating at least one hot dog per day. 4605:

releases its most powerful toy yet -- the Nerf Nuke. Kids buy them to ensure their place as a neighborhood superpower.

503:- A fortune teller (Darren) reads Zach's palm and sees several spirits around him, one of which is "tea bagging" him. 300:- In the workplace, boss (Sam) bothers employee (Darren) with annoying questions. They draw what they did last night. 4762:-style booby traps, then shoots himself, but not before calling 911 to inform them that he is about to kill himself. 2995: 2709:- Another "fish-out-of-water" movie trailer, where five of the toughest convicted criminals are sent to kindergarten. 3138:- During a newscast, the helicopter pilot (Trevor) gets distracted when he recognizes his wife's car on the freeway. 1906:- At school, newly appointed line leader Ryan (Sam) prepares his battalion for an epic fight with the fifth-graders. 1526:- Teenage Margaret (Trevor) tries to dodge the Fairy of Womanhood (Zach), until she hears from Rationality (Darren). 4432:

infomercial where pitchman Kyle (Trevor) advertises a rag named the Jizzle - specially designed to clean up semen.

4889:- In this multi-part series, Sam and Trevor talk with Ulysses S. Grant (Zach) and become sympathetic to the Union. 3063:- A space traveler (Trevor) provides some unnecessary narration. In the void beyond space, unusual things happen. 3335:- Two fathers (Zach, Trevor) converse at a kids' museum devoted to regurgitation, and decide to ditch their kids. 2586:- Trevor and Sam play with an x-ray machine while waiting for the doctor, and learn about Sam's digestive system. 2264:- During the Vietnam War, two soldiers are in a helicopter; one (Sam) tells the other (Trevor) to close the door. 3621:- PBS reads some of Walt Whitman's diary from his teenage years, and find out how obsessed he was with breasts. 3518:- A con artist (Sam) makes the mistake of ODing on male enhancement supplements when he has to pose as a bride. 1918: 339:- Trevor visits a second grade class and talks to the kids about conspiracy theories concerning President Bush. 4612:- Young Billy (Timmy) gets a new blacklight for his room. He does not realize what the blacklight will reveal. 1930:- Zach breaks the fourth wall and asks the audience to settle arguments between him and his girlfriend (Sam). 1164:- At a dinner date, (Sam) pulls a very long piece of string out of his teeth, which is attached to his organs. 606:- Two monster truck drivers (Sam, Trevor) encounter each other at a house party, and destroy the living room. 421:- A re-enactment of the interaction between Europeans and Africans in 1769 makes the Africans look like jerks. 139:- In the forest, a fawn (Darren) seduces hunters (Zach, Sam, Trevor), until the ranger (Timmy) gets involved. 1601:- The screenwriter has to pitch his new idea to the very same person who tricked him into eating street tar. 1594:- Harold's (Trevor) volatile relationship with his wife (Sam) is the basis for the how-to book he's writing. 400:- A re-enactment of the interaction between Europeans and Indians in 1620 makes the Indians look like jerks. 218:- (Timmy)'s parents (Zach, Sam) are upset that he bought an African djembe drummer (really a weed salesman). 4067:- Mr. Peterson (Trevor) convinces his son's (Darren) girlfriend (Zach) that he and his son switched bodies. 3504:- A teacher (Trevor) corrects his student's (Darren) oral report containing information found on Knowledge. 2936:- A stripper (Bobbi Bentzel) is called to testify in court, but ends up entertaining her audience instead. 2250:- New rules at the presidential debate shake things up for unprepared candidate Senator Homestead (Timmy). 1372:- A long, four-act sketch about an adventurer (Zach) who is blackmailed by a crafty diamond thief (Trevor). 4974:- A man covered in glitter (Darren) and his clown wife (Zach) have an important discussion about abortion. 4949:- Jason (Trevor) discusses with his mom (Darren) the fact that there's semen all over his yard sale boxes. 1217:, rebellious teens Michael (Zach) and Caleb (Trevor) have gotten animal genitalia attached to their heads. 970:- Timmy and Trevor (and the janitor) walk into Jim's office just so they can torture Jim with their farts. 4696:- A father (Trevor) and his son (Darren) have discovered that one of their family members has gotten hot. 2824:- President Ronald Reagan (Zach) would rather talk with fans about movies than work on political issues. 2257:- Two guys (Timmy, Darren) stranded on an island are desperate for food and resort to eating each other. 3964:- (Trevor), (Darren), and (Sam) make an ad for a new book that supposedly helps you in the stock market. 3293:- Stan (Sam) meets Stacy (Darren) and Betty (Trevor) at a party, but can't get them to kiss each other. 863:- Perverse department agents (Sam, Trevor, Darren) must behave around the first female president (Zach). 4339:- A tragic oil spill is actually an exciting new time in the planet's ecosystem - welcome to Ocean 2.0! 4318:- A woman (Darren) is on a first date at a restaurant when her date (Zach) considers ordering dog poop. 3800: 1816: 846: 146:- Slapping people in the face, a kick in the balls and shirt wedgies are "the new thing" among friends. 2271:- Presidential Props Part 2: The party started at the debate continues at da club with a bangin' song. 763:- Demon Balthasar (Trevor) is summoned from Hell to control the ouija board at a girls' slumber party. 702:- Trevor grosses out an audience by drinking out of buckets filled with various disgusting substances. 4524:- (Sam) gets pulled over by a firetruck. The firefighter (Darren) informs him that is car is on fire. 2994:- Copyright issues, dismemberment, decapitations, and switching problems plague an obvious ripoff of 2203:- Women (WKUK) at a fashion show are very enthusiastic about the new season's fashions. And glitter. 2035:- Car dealer Mitch Huggins (Sam) stars in a commercial with his unenthusiastic sons (Trevor, Darren). 1913:- A guitarist (Zach) tries to integrate his pet dolphin (Trevor) into his act on an open mic night. 1124:- The doctor (Zach) gives (Sam) a pair of glasses, which makes him see how ugly his wife (Timmy) is. 4769:- Homeless Joe (Zach) hold a businessman (Darren) at gunpoint and asks him for ridiculous requests. 4454: 3179: 2647:- Two sarcastic parents (Trevor, Zach) chide their crying infant child for waking them up at night. 688:- College buddies Zach and Trevor run into each other in the park; Zach has a liquid gallon of PCP. 31: 3910:- Sam makes a video that allegedly makes the viewer gay and tries to convince Trevor to watch it. 3409:- Dr. Lewis (Zach) is scared of telling a child about his condition, but Dr. Kyle (Trevor) isn't. 3077:- Brian (Trevor) is not too comfortable with Steven's (Zach) choice of shirt for Casual Friday. 1786:- A woman (Elizabeth Bocs) continually catches her husband (Sam) drinking beer in different ways. 1264:- At a gentleman's club, Trevor, Zach and Timmy learn what a stripper (Darren) will do for money. 1192:- Cowboys (WKUK) need to put on campfire shows for each other. Timmy walks off the set in anger. 924:- Trevor stars in a semi-sexy R&B video where he describes having sex with unconscious women. 22: 4149:- (Zach) shows the viewer what not to do at a job interview played out by (Trevor) and (Darren). 2509:- Blood-stained Candice (Sam) will stop at nothing -- NOTHING -- to see the latest chick flick, 510:- A group of women (WKUK) evoke sympathy from each other by talking about their feminine issues. 4269:- In this multi-part series, (Sam) and (Trevor) learn about marijuana in the antebellum south. 2579:- A hapless dad (Trevor) tries to cover up his lawnmower accident by faking the dog's suicide. 1580:- In a sketch that ends bloody, Zach alerts Sam and Trevor about something happening outside. 585:- Two pilots (Sam, Trevor) have an awkward discussion about their friendship while in mid-air. 3070:- Daddy (Sam) has to have a talk with his daughter about what he was doing with the donkey. 225:- During the Revolutionary War, the redcoats practice addressing the American army politely. 4777: 4074:- Various scenes (press conference and locker room) from the Gay Football League are shown. 3865: 2332:- With their new x-ray glasses, pervs (Trevor) and (Darren) can see through dogs' clothing. 2028:

marathon, a music television newscaster (Trevor) reports on an alien abduction and Ozzfest.

877:- A drunk businessman (Trevor) stumbles into a tattoo parlor and asks for a bizarre tattoo. 845:- Zach constantly needs attention from the rest of the troupe. He improvises a song about 592:- In the workplace, Darren creeps out Trevor and Sam with his mimed masturbation movements. 321:- Two kids (Darren & Trevor) decide to have fun with a time machine and a farmer (Sam). 26:

which ran from March 20, 2007 – June 17, 2011 with a total of 60 episodes and 5 seasons on

3957:- Michael Moore (Sam) makes a documentary about how his wife (Zach) did not do the dishes. 3778:- Helen's (Darren) dad's (Trevor) mouth is wired shut so he has to eat in a special way... 2135:- A young businessman (Darren) introduces water balloons to a quiet town in the Wild West. 1704:- Trevor quickly regrets the way he died; God gives him a second chance at the wrong time. 1271:- Enthusiastic (Trevor) and (Zach) have a scenario in mind for what they'd do in the army. 1110:- A director (Zach) gives odd direction to actors (Trevor, Darren) on a dramatic cop show. 386:- Man-child David (Trevor) sees Saturday as a day to run amok and shoot his bow and arrow. 37:

Based on counting the number of skits in this article, the series contained 381 sketches.

8: 3391: 1304:

to George Lucas (Sam), who dies of excitement, leaving the franchise in the teen's hands.

482:- A bunny, a dog, and a man will die in a fiery explosion if you obey the on-screen text. 4361:

officially begins and Sam and Trevor mistakenly believe marijuana has been made illegal.

3423:- Barney, the motorcycle-riding bear, escapes the circus to exact revenge on an old foe. 1834:- Angry Clyde (Sam) takes Mabel (Timmy) to Virtual World to give her a knuckle sandwich. 1800:- Zach and Sam have a better relationship with the boss (Timmy) than newbie Darren does. 4358: 3710:- Greg's (Trevor) kid is unconscious on the playground so Greg takes him to a mechanic. 3479: 2943:- Daddy (Sam) tells his daughter (Caroline Toto) the story of how she came along. The 2077: 2003:- In a 1940s war movie, soldiers encounter Charlie Chaplin (Trevor) -- or is it Hitler? 1711:- The president's press secretary (Trevor) hosts a conference about bears on the moon. 2196:- Terry (Trevor) wants a job at the zoo, as the guy who beats up misbehaving animals. 1199:- A doctor (Trevor) has an immense fear of touching a patient's (Zach) lumpy testicle. 4931:- A show discusses how homeless people can live better. It does not get good ratings. 4875:- Bill is back from Vietnam, and he's much more Vietnamese than his friends remember. 3023:- The back seat of the bus is the best spot for two Socialist hoodlums (Trevor, Sam). 2954:- A family (Sam, Darren) encounters some aliens (Trevor, Zach, Timmy), who mock them. 2944: 2825: 856:- Bank robbers (Zach, Trevor, Sam & Darren) continually fail to pull off a heist. 27: 4046:- Satan (Zach) orders his chefs (Timmy, Darren, and Trevor) to cook disgusting food. 4981:- (Trevor) and (Sam) try to have dinner, but Sam keeps saying inappropriate things. 4809: 4081:- Dr. Scientist (Darren) develops a new kind of pig that maximises meat production. 3950:- (Trevor) is caught masturbating to baby pictures when his wife (Darren) walks in. 2655: 2149:- Punk rockers (Timmy, Darren) aren't sure what to think of JJ Marvin's (Zach) act. 2010:- Luther B. (Trevor) promotes his own "cool" version of the Bible: a set of videos. 1615:- Annoying superhero Shark Man (Trevor) has to manually re-fill his lungs with air. 3971:- Chad (Zach) makes a video about a fellow classmate (Timmy) for a school project. 3206:- At a christening party, Timmy shows off the new bathroom cameras he's installed. 613:- On a submarine, sailors guffaw at the type of sandwich (Trevor) happens to have. 4939: 2640:- In 1984, two hip-hop posers (Trevor, Sam) turn a black man into a crack dealer. 1899:- Gordon (Trevor) and Candice (Zach) get caught in a whirlpool … and an argument. 1502: 1293:- Little Kevin (Timmy) shows his parents (Trevor, Zach) a drawing of an elephant. 1279: 4868:- (Timmy) invents a time machine and accidentally erases himself from existence. 1892:- For blind stand-up comedians (Darren, Trevor), telling jokes is never routine. 4311:- Trevor, Sam, and Darren are interrupted by a squirrel jumping into their car. 4241:- In this black-and-white sitcom, young Adolf Hitler is a local community hero. 3546:- After dying of carbon monoxide poisoning, Trevor ends up in the wrong heaven. 3437:- A slew of stupid, made-up strip club names, which continues over the credits. 3375:- Dave (Sam) hides the fact that he loves touching his own urine and excrement. 2763:- Do you, the viewer, have epilepsy? Please be patient while the results load. 2325:- (Sam) masters telekinesis, and immediately knows what to use it for … in bed. 1849: 1365:- In prison, Francis Scott Key (Sam) wants to write "The Star-Spangled Banner". 1283: 194: 4332:- (Sam) discusses whether or not he should marry his girlfriend with (Darren). 5063: 4404: 4248:- (Trevor) serenades the audience with songs featuring outdated social norms. 3703:- Various black and white footage of Clarence McKenah (Zach) punching people. 2879: 1311:- A country singer (Trevor) is "totally gay for America" and Uncle Sam (Sam). 329: 17: 2455:- A professional dominatrix (Trevor) tries to show a newbie (Sam) the ropes. 3864:- Osama Bin Laden (Trevor) is hosting a new game show to apologize for the 2829: 1433:- Billy's dad (Trevor) thinks his son looks amazing with a gun in his hand. 4882:- A commercial for the board game Crazy Chase, which contains 1000 dice. 4039:- (Trevor) and (Darren) make a machine that attracts babes (magnetically). 5037:- (Sam) picks up the phone for his mom (Timmy), but she doesn't hear him. 2834: 1093: 977:- Bored, Darren and Sam pretend to mutilate Zach while he's on the phone. 4255:- As a US soldier in Vietnam bleeds out, he writes a letter to his wife. 3717:- WKUK teases Timmy about his new TV show pilot that doesn't even exist. 3314:- A horny robot is taken to jail, put on trial and sentenced to hanging. 4759: 4514: 4347: 3635:- A student (Timmy) asks his teacher who shot the Moon landing footage. 2889:- Barry (Darren) is the sole rational thinker in a team of anarchists. 2521: 1078:- At the movies, Trevor notices Sam's testicle hanging from his collar. 695:- A trailer for an epic movie in which (Trevor) turns the ocean orange. 4163:- The WKUK tells the audience what items they need for future sketches 4135:- The new pope (Trevor) is shown a video made by the old pope (Timmy). 3084:- A hippopotamus wanders through New York City. Look at that hippo go. 2433:- At a party with mostly black people, (Trevor) obeys the lyrics to a 1071:- Two ghetto-astronauts (Trevor, Timmy) are about to land on the moon. 1057:- Trevor points out to Sam that one of Sam's testes keeps popping out. 332:

late, and bothers (Timmy) and (Darren) by spilling foodstuffs on them.

232:- Blackout: Burglar's (Timmy) lawyer (Darren) doesn't like his outfit. 193:- Blackout: Indiana Jones (Trevor) protests against the auctioning of 4156:- The WKUK plays a first person shooter game and has some troubles... 1814:- Audio sketch: a caller's emergency situation resembles the plot of 1622:- Susie's dad (Trevor) comes home hammered during her birthday party. 1587:- A Hollywood screenwriter tries an unusual hors d'ouerve at a party. 1092:- On a blind date, (Trevor) learns something unusual about his date ( 838:- Candace (Timmy) catches her husband (Trevor) at the ol' glory hole. 524:- Two English gentlemen (Zach, Trevor) are at an impasse in the park. 239:- Annoying superhero Whip Boy (Trevor) answers to the call of action. 4499:- Dads discuss their increasingly violent acts of domestic violence. 3300:- Mother (Darren) has trouble delivering a baby. "WE GOT A RUNNER!" 2088:- During a multiplayer video game, Dabears (Timmy) needs a sandwich. 1937:- The grand finale - Trevor raps about getting high with dinosaurs . 1791:

The Complete Human History of the Last 10,000 Years in Seven Seconds

1683:- Audio sketch: a driving instructor gets friendly with his student. 1533:- No one showed up for the first day of Ninja School -- or did they? 414:- Blackout: Zach tells Trevor about the time he ate at White Castle. 4964: 3896:- Talking pyramids gossip about various other wonders of the world. 3696:- A jumbotron at a basketball game continually zooms in on (Timmy). 3532:- One by one, soldiers ham it up when they get shot, except Timmy. 3016:- A hiker (Sam) is left to die while a documentary is being filmed. 1206:- Blackout: (Darren) thinks he's invisible, until he punches (Sam). 496:- Dad (Trevor) tells his son (Timmy) about the gross facts of life. 246:- A trailer for a war movie in which three brothers get in a brawl. 118:- Blackout: A drunkard misunderstands the purpose of an AA meeting. 104:- Adolf Hitler (Trevor) stars in a rap video, "Triumph of the Ill". 4801:- A local escape artist has been underwater for 17 hours straight. 97:- Anne mistakes Paul's (Trevor) iPod Shuffle for a pregnancy test. 4429: 3321:- The doctor (Zach) doesn't think (Trevor)'s mouth is stuck open. 1793:- The moral of a vignette: you will get stabbed if you have gold. 1185:- A recruitment trailer to join the (trigger-happy) police force. 870:- In home room, Steven (Trevor) talks about his parents' divorce. 749:- (Sam) realizes he's been typing on a pie instead of a keyboard. 517:- The fortune teller's prediction of Zach's promotion comes true. 3978:- Police officers (WKUK) make various puns before raiding a zoo. 3192:- Outsourcing leaves little for a company to do at headquarters. 3005:- Five seconds with a butler (Trevor) upon his first arrival in 2817:- (Sam) stupidly spends his lottery winnings on lottery tickets. 1718:- A boy's (Trevor) attempt to bond with his dad (Sam) backfires. 1064:- Trevor stars in a rap video about getting high with dinosaurs. 3279:- An alien turns out to be a piñata filled with Reese's Pieces. 1412:- Sam becomes annoying after learning about reverse psychology. 1358:- A business that prevents cute puppies from turning into dogs. 4967:

diagnosis. Little do they know that he does not have syphilis.

3764:- Trevor and Sam perform a sketch sent to them by John Cleese. 3525:- A disinterested CEO (Trevor) messes with his company's ads. 831:- The captain (Trevor) has trouble getting pirates' attention. 4689:- A student driver will not break for people having a picnic. 3675:- Poseidon (Sam) and The Devil (Zach) eat spaghetti together. 3199:- The president (Sam) has discovered a new color … or has he? 3006: 2434: 2095:- Trevor sings about what he's heard from God over the years. 1440:- Trevor and Sam ponder about the religious cult they're in. 960: 3689:- A shopping TV show sells some of Charles Manson's artwork. 3307:- Santa (Sam) gets stuck in the chimney with his pants down. 204:- WKUK star in a reggaeton video about disturbing the peace. 4602: 3511:- Dario (Sam) thinks that meeting the parents will go well. 4128:- (Zach) shows (Trevor) the ropes at the landmine factory. 4053:- (Sam) vents about his childhood to his therapist (Zach). 3539:- Jerry's (Sam) opponent (Zach) goes down with one punch. 2189:- Two homophobic men (Trevor, Sam) cause a stir at dinner. 1257:- For every racial slur, (Zach) gets what's coming to him. 1103:- Sam experiences embarrassment on the show "Double Date". 3992:- Some astronauts try to play a prank on mission control. 3614:- A new squirt gun that squirts boogers instead of water. 3607:- The Corheisen brewing company markets beer to children. 3999:- Mini-documentary about two hunters who hunt housecats. 2379:- Mr. McGillicuddy (Sam) gets fed up with skateboarding. 1629:- Trevor and Sam decide to go back in time to stop 9/11. 959:- Blackout: Trevor and Timmy perform a short play about 3600:- (Zach) jerks off when his parents leave to the store. 2593:- After getting his hair dyed, Timmy gets hit by a car. 2525:-obsessed boss (Timmy) -- who goes down with one punch. 3985:- (Trevor) shows his new pilot to the History Network. 3586:- (Trevor) and (Darren) tamper with an old man's will. 3490:- A mission briefing includes a bulldog and a handjob. 3272:- Blackout: A scary ad for Hazy Memories Nursing Home. 2318:- Caleb (Trevor) doesn't take homeschooling seriously. 1779:- An armless conductor (Zach) conducts with his feet. 1461:- Trevor's song about God is sung in other countries. 4262:- Super powered finger rings have never been so fun. 5070:

Lists of American comedy television series episodes

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