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minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl's father or her guardian, and ask his consent. If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father's approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes
Usually, however, when the young man enters the study or office of her father, the latter has a perfectly good idea of what he has come to say and, having allowed his attentions, is probably willing to accept his daughter's choice.
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surprise a lady whose relatives have been asking her for years if the two of them were ever getting married, and who may even have been asking the question herself. However, valiant tries are made. Romantic trips provide the scenery, and a hidden ring (preferably not hidden in something the lady goes ahead and drinks) is the prop. The truth is that surprise was never a successful element of the proposal. Ladies who blushed and protested that they had never thought of such a thing (but would start doing so right away) were merely meeting expectations.
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back into shock, giving you the opportunity to perform the next step, while you are still holding the box. 4. Say "I can't live without you. Will you marry me?" Got that? Not "I think we might make a go of it," or "My mother says she's tired of her friends asking when we're getting married," or "I've talked to my tax consultant, and I think we can get married without getting hit too badly." 5. Open the box, take her hand and put the ring on her finger. 6. Congratulations. You are now engaged.
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If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father's financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their
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1. Arrange the lady on a sofa. 2. Kneel in front of her. That should put her into shock. If she is still able to talk and says something like, "What do you think you're doing?" simply smile mysteriously. 3. Pull out of your pocket a small velvet box with an engagement ring inside. That should put her
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Now that weddings have become drama festivals, the marriage proposal has turned into a pageant that serves as the curtain raiser. Unlike the main events, this has a sole producer, the future bridegroom, and what he is supposed to produce is—a surprise. Miss
Manners can imagine that it is not easy to
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The majority of the proposals in this study contained five elements. Three were found in every proposal: (1) the man asking the woman to marry him, (2) the man presenting the woman a ring, and (3) the man orchestrating the proposal as a "surprise." Another element, the man getting down on one knee,
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A universal element in the proposals of heterosexual couples we interviewed was that the proposer was the male member of the couple and the audience was the female member. Breaking this rule, as only the female member can do, did not result in an official engagement. Another woman twice asked her
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Tradition dictates that men are expected to play the active role of initiating the proposal, while women are expected to adopt a passive and reactive role (Schweingruber, Anahita, & Berns, 2004). Although in some
European countries – such as Finland and Ireland – there is the custom that women
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The proposal itself is often supposed to be a surprise, although in practice this is rarely actually the case. Surveys have found that most proposals are not surprises, and most wedding engagements begin with a conversation in which the parties mutually agree to wed.
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Same-gender couples, to whom gendered proposal traditions do not apply, usually keep some elements of customary ritual while altering others. In some cases, there may be multiple proposals, and each partner may propose to the other.
148:, and these customs are still sometimes practiced in the modern day. Even when the decision to marry is made by the couple, it may not be communicated between them directly; for instance, in the traditional Japanese custom of
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Asking the father for his daughter's hand may have been superfluous—as a gentleman of Miss
Manners' acquaintance replied in similar circumstances, "Why not? You've already had the rest of her"—but you nevertheless found it
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In response to the demand created by this cultural shift, jewelry companies have begun to advertise engagement rings for men. Nevertheless, proposals by women may not be taken seriously or treated as "real" proposals.
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Proposals by women are increasingly accepted in
Western culture, with most Americans approving of the practice, although the vast majority of proposals in the United States are still made by men. Similarly, in
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Before proposing, a man traditionally privately asks permission from the father of the woman he hopes to marry. When practiced in the modern day, this is usually understood as a formality.
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boyfriend to marry her and even gave him a ring. He wore the ring but did not take her proposals seriously. The couple did not consider themselves engaged until he asked her to marry him.
188:(also known as 'blessing an engaged couple' or 'declaration of intention'), which often includes prayer, Bible readings, blessing of engagement rings, and a blessing of the couple.
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was found in 17 of the 20 proposals. The final element, the man asking permission of the woman's father, was found in 12 of the 20 proposals.
796:
Schweingruber, D; Anahita, S; Berns, N (2004). "'Popping the
Question' When the Answer Is Known: The Engagement Proposal as Performance".
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Schweingruber, D; Anahita, S; Berns, N (2004). "'Popping the
Question' When the Answer Is Known: The Engagement Proposal as Performance".
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232:, sometimes with any man rejecting such a proposal being expected to pay a forfeit to his suitor, usually through a gift of clothing.
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As royal tradition dictated that no one could propose to a reigning monarch, Victoria asked Albert to marry her on 15 October 1839.
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While the common
Western convention is for a man to propose to a woman, there are some traditional exceptions. For instance, as a
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in front of her. The ritual often involves the formal asking of the question "Will you marry me, ...?" and the presentation of an
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Mind you, believes it is as appropriate for the lady to propose to the gentleman as it is for a gentleman to propose to a lady.
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679:: An Encyclopedia of Dating Customs and Wedding Traditions, Expanded Second Edition George Monger ABC-CLIO, Apr 9, 2013
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240:, while proposals by women are considered socially acceptable, the vast majority of heterosexual proposals are by men.
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is a custom or ritual, common in
Western cultures, in which one member of a couple asks the other for their hand in
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493:"Rites Relating to Marriage: A Statement and Resources from The International Anglican Liturgical Consultation"
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837:"Reshaping relational scripts? Marriage and civil partnership proposals among same-gender couples"
636:"Reshaping relational scripts? Marriage and civil partnership proposals among same-gender couples"
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are permitted to propose during a leap year, this is the exception that proves the cultural rule.
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Not all engagements begin with a proposal of marriage. Historically, many marriages have been
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My
Dearest, Dearest Albert: Queen Victoria's Life Through Her Letters and Journals
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In Western cultures, a proposal is traditionally made by a man to a woman, while
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498:. The International Anglican Liturgical Consultation. 2011. pp. 4, 14–15.
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881:"Will You Marry Me?" Some First-Hand Accounts of Marriage Proposals, 1600-1900
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Couples in many Christian denominations have the option of receiving the
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)
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Language, Gender, and Ideology in Japanese Professional Matchmaking
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Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home
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19:"Will you marry me" redirects here. For other uses, see
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722:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 761.
429:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 759.
400:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 775.
311:. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. p. 760.
381:. New York and London: Funk & Wagnalls Company.
456:"Forget the Fancy Proposal. Let's Just Get Married"
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610:"Leap Year Proposal: What's The Story Behind It?"
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772:"Australian news article about women proposing"
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118:A woodcut depicting a proposal, Germany, 1815
39:The examples and perspective in this article
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133:. If accepted, it marks the initiation of
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77:Learn how and when to remove this message
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137:, a mutual promise of later marriage.
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835:Jowett, Adam; Peel, Elizabeth (2019).
718:Kamen, Gloria; Martin, Judith (2011).
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634:Jowett, Adam; Peel, Elizabeth (2019).
572:from the original on 20 September 2021
536:from the original on 20 September 2021
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505:from the original on 20 September 2021
425:Kamen, Gloria; Martin, Judith (2011).
396:Kamen, Gloria; Martin, Judith (2011).
307:Kamen, Gloria; Martin, Judith (2011).
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524:Aabram, Virginia (29 August 2021).
21:Will You Marry Me? (disambiguation)
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612:. Huffingtonpost.com. 2012-02-29.
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690:"Why don't women propose to men?"
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595:. London: Michael O'Mara Books.
563:Anglican Church in North America
526:"What Is the Rite of Betrothal?"
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288:(PhD). University of Michigan.
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454:Weiss, Suzannah (2020-11-18).
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1823:Wedding vow renewal ceremony
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282:Alpert, Erika Renee (2014).
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53:, discuss the issue on the
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774:. Smh.com.au. 2004-02-29.
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530:National Catholic Register
228:allow women to propose on
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565:. 2019. p. 213-214.
1778:Maiden and married names
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212:in countries including
100:A man proposing on the
1616:Saint Thomas Christian
162:Customs and traditions
1798:Self-uniting marriage
591:Dolby, Karen (2018).
1243:Wedding ring cushion
375:Post, Emily (1922).
59:create a new article
51:improve this article
41:may not represent a
16:Proposal of marriage
1813:Wedding anniversary
1544:Pre-wedding customs
1446:Wedding cake topper
1420:Wedding videography
1410:Wedding photography
1380:Pounded rice ritual
1078:Western dress codes
1747:Honeymoon registry
1504:Anand Karaj (Sikh)
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1020:Bachelorette party
1010:Wedding invitation
798:Sociological Focus
460:The New York Times
338:Sociological Focus
204:had to propose to
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1355:Jumping the broom
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1456:Groom's cake
1451:Cookie table
1441:Wedding cake
1395:Unity candle
1257:Participants
1248:Wishing well
1228:Wedding cord
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1162:Evening gown
1150:Bridal crown
1145:Contemporary
1056:Gretna Green
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1684:Philippines
1636:Zoroastrian
1495:By religion
1375:Polterabend
1365:Money dance
1345:First dance
1330:Ahesta Bero
1299:Flower girl
1270:child bride
1103:Semi-formal
963:Pre-wedding
944:Handfasting
146:matchmakers
1849:Engagement
1843:Categories
1646:By country
1497:or culture
1486:Place card
1481:Loving cup
1323:Traditions
1289:Bridesmaid
1277:Bridegroom
980:Engagement
934:Collective
804:(2): 148.
782:2014-08-11
757:2024-08-18
751:Yahoo Life
704:2015-05-07
620:2014-08-11
478:2020-11-23
344:(2): 148.
269:References
135:engagement
1854:Proposals
1773:Elopement
1739:Honeymoon
1694:Sri Lanka
1519:Ayyavazhi
1314:Officiant
1304:Groomsman
1294:Bridesman
1218:Las arras
1172:Debutante
1167:Ball gown
1108:Black tie
1091:White tie
1061:Las Vegas
1044:Locations
939:Elopement
861:202264087
818:143510045
660:202264087
468:0362-4331
413:charming.
358:143510045
238:Australia
230:leap days
102:High Line
55:talk page
1788:Newlywed
1717:Scotland
1679:Pakistan
1654:Ethiopia
1626:Timorese
1581:Mandaean
1551:Catholic
1360:Lychgate
1309:Page boy
1120:Informal
1070:Clothing
949:Same-sex
923:Weddings
847:(4): 1.
776:Archived
698:Archived
694:CBS News
646:(4): 1.
614:Archived
567:Archived
534:Archived
500:Archived
472:Archived
252:See also
214:Scotland
155:Kotowari
142:arranged
131:marriage
49:You may
1729:Vietnam
1722:history
1699:Ukraine
1664:Iceland
1606:Punjabi
1596:Persian
1566:Islamic
1539:Chinese
1476:Korovai
1385:Pyebaek
1213:Chuppah
1207:Objects
1189:Garters
226:Finland
222:England
218:Ireland
198:monarch
1689:Russia
1621:Shinto
1611:Quaker
1586:Mormon
1576:Jewish
1556:Hajong
1400:Walima
1197:Casual
1086:Formal
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224:, and
1761:Other
1669:India
1561:Hindu
1370:Music
1265:Bride
1157:Dress
954:White
885:(PDF)
857:S2CID
814:S2CID
656:S2CID
570:(PDF)
559:(PDF)
503:(PDF)
496:(PDF)
354:S2CID
150:Omiai
57:, or
1591:Odia
1571:Iyer
1514:Ayie
1509:Arab
1125:Suit
724:ISBN
578:2021
542:2021
511:2021
464:ISSN
431:ISBN
402:ISBN
313:ISBN
849:doi
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648:doi
346:doi
290:hdl
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