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Nice guy

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149:(1999) found that women are more likely to report wanting a nice guy but do not choose them in their real dating life. They also found that women perceived nice guys as having less sexual partners in general but perceived them as more eligible for dating. Women claim to prefer to date people who have less sexual experience. A third of the women, however, had reported dating multiple partners that had had more sexual experience than them. There was a dichotomous relationship between a woman’s perception of what a nice guy is and does and whether or not he "finishes last", as the common adage states. If a woman believes that a nice guy is kind and respectful to women then they will say that he does not finish last. If the nice guy is perceived as being passive or unattractive then they will say that he does finish last. 176:
was no way to directly measure the physical attractiveness of the men with whom they were presented. They only had information with which they could draw conclusions. Because they could not see the men and only had information to use, McDaniel found that this may suggest that women romanticize the idea of a nice/sweet guy, but often do not choose him because in reality he is likely to be less attractive than a so-called "jerk".
168:, especially due to their use of verbal scripts, they conclude that "our overall results did not favor the nice guy stereotype; instead, our results suggested that women’s attitudes (as expressed in previous studies) do, in fact, generally match their behaviors. Niceness was a robust, positive factor in women’s choices of a dating partner and in how desirable they rated Todd." 172:
involving the fun/sexy guy. The two variables being measured were the women’s likelihood of picking a nice guy versus a fun/sexy guy, and their reasons for so doing. It was found that there was a stronger correlation between a woman’s perceived positive traits in the man than in her goals for the dating relationship, both of which were measured in the questionnaire.
157:"Neutral Todd" described a "real man" as someone who "knows what he wants and knows how to get it", and who is good to the woman he loves. "Jerk Todd" described a "real man" as someone who "knows what he wants and knows how to get it", who keeps everyone else on their toes, and avoids "touch-feely" stuff. "Michael" described a "real man" as relaxed and positive. 388:
According to this interpretation, people who display wealth, good looks, dominance, and confidence tend to succeed more in romance than do "nice guys". Nice guys are therefore resentful at the inconsistency between what people claim to be attracted to and by how they act in reality. At times, these men are also known by the term "
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In their qualitative analysis (1999), Herold and Milhausen found that women associate different qualities with the "nice guy" label: "Some women offered flattering interpretations of the 'nice guy', characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women. Some women, however, emphasized more
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The terms "nice guy" and "nice guy syndrome" can be used sarcastically to describe a man who views himself as a prototypical "nice guy", but whose "nice deeds" are deemed to be solely motivated by a desire to court women. From said courting, the "nice guy" may hope to form a romantic relationship or
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McDaniel (2005) constructed vignettes of dates with a stereotypical "nice guy" vs. a stereotypical "fun/sexy guy", and attempted to make them both sound positive. Questionnaires were offered to a group of women in which they were presented with two scenarios, one involving the nice guy and the other
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Sprecher and Regan (2002) found kindness, warmth, expressiveness, openness, and humor as desirable traits of a long-term partner. Social status indicators, such as future earning potential (wealth), were not viewed as more desirable traits when compared to the previous traits. Participants suggested
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The "bad boys" were divided into two categories, "as either confident, attractive, sexy, and exciting or as manipulative, unfaithful, disrespectful of women, and interested only in sex". This distinction helped further the understanding of why women might prefer "nice guys" or "not-nice guys". Women
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or otherwise unattractive. The opposite of a genuine "nice guy" is commonly described as a "jerk", a term for a mean, selfish and uncaring person. A man is labeled a "jerk" on how he treats his partner, seen as the extreme case where he would not have a sensitive or kind side and is seen as a "macho
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Sadalla, Kenrick, and Vershure (1985) found that women were sexually attracted to dominance in men, though dominance did not make men likable to women. Dominance in women had no effect on men. This may further suggest that the nice guy myth is one of sexual preference, and not of dating preference.
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Nice guys are usually seen as twice as attractive as men who present themselves as neutral, and eight times more attractive than the "jerks" in a dating profile. Social dominance enhances female attraction to a male who has shown in the relationship niceness, traits of kindness and warmth stated by
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found in a 1999 study of 165 university women that 56% claimed to agree with the statement: "You may have heard the expression, 'Nice guys finish last.' In terms of dating, and sex, do you think women are less likely to have sex with men who are 'nice' than men who are 'not nice'?" The study also
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The two traits that predicted likelihood for wanting to pursue a relationship were physical attractiveness and niceness/sweetness. However, if a man was perceived to be nice/sweet, but was not found physically attractive, it hurt his chances of a romantic relationship even more. In the study there
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Another perspective is that women do want "nice guys", at least when they are looking for a romantic relationship. Desrochers (1995) suggests that "it still seems popular to believe that women in contemporary America prefer men who are 'sensitive', or have feminine personality traits". In a study
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Although women often portray themselves as wanting to date kind, sensitive, and emotionally expressive men, the nice guy stereotype contends that, when actually presented with a choice between such a 'nice guy' and an unkind, insensitive, emotionally-closed, 'macho man' or 'jerk,' they invariably
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Judge et al. (2011) concluded that "Nice guys do not necessarily finish last, but they do finish a distant second in terms of earnings ... yet, seen from the perspective of gender equity, even the nice guys seem to be making out quite well relative to either agreeable or disagreeable women."
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acts are rated as more desirable for dates and long-term relationships than non-generous guys. This study used a series of matched descriptions where each male was presented in a generous or a control version which differed only in whether the man tended to help others. The author suggests that
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of four hypothetical dating show contestants: "Nice Todd" vs. "Neutral Todd" vs. "Jerk Todd" vs. "Michael", who was created to be a control. "Nice Todd" described a "real man" as "in touch with his feelings", kind and attentive, non-macho, and interested in putting his partner's pleasure first.
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More male orientated interpretations claim that the resentment is down to the fact that society, and the vast majority of people in spoken conversation, claim to be attracted to traits such as honesty, integrity and kindness, when in reality more superficial considerations trigger attraction.
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with the ulterior aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship. This is sometimes referred to as "nice guy syndrome", which is used to describe a sense of entitlement to sexual or romantic attention from women simply for being "nice", and irrational anger when that attention is not
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Because of this belief, men are less likely to pursue a romantic relationship with a woman if they perceive themselves as nice guys. If they do not believe that women will be sexually or romantically attracted to them, because of their more feminine or "nice" traits, then they will likely be
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Nice guys are sometimes suggested to be overbearing or lacking in vision and ambitions; these opinions suggest self-confidence as a key point and area of improvement. Often these ideas and views of a certain nice guy can contribute to a woman's willingness to pursue a romantic relationship.
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concerned, possibly another trait that leads to women's preference for jerks. In other words, men who are more confident and worry less if they are being perceived a certain way are more likely to have a romantic or casual sexual relationship with a woman of their choice.
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found that "while 'nice guys' may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships." They posit that the preferences of women for different types of men are linked to their
53:. The term is used both positively and negatively. When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a man who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, provides 329:
According to McDaniel in 2005, popular culture and dating advice "suggest that women claim they want a 'nice guy' because they believe that is what is expected of them when, in reality, they want the so-called 'challenge' that comes with dating a not-so-nice guy".
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However, the term is also often used sarcastically, particularly in the context of dating, to describe someone who believes himself to possess genuine "nice guy" characteristics, even though he actually does not, and who uses acts of friendship and basic social
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The "nice guys finish last" view in relationships is that there is a discrepancy between women's stated preferences and their actual choices in men. In other words, women say that they want nice guys, but really go for men who are "jerks" or
399:(HBI) published several "rants" on the concept of the nice guy. The central theme was that a genuinely nice male is desirable, but that many nice guys are insecure men unwilling to articulate their romantic or sexual feelings directly. 358:
Further evidence appears in a 2005 study in Prague: "Since women can always get a man for a one-night stand, they gain an advantage if they find partners for child-rearing." ("Biology Letters" Aug 2005 Jan Havlicek ... from article
318:" in the end. This may lead to men's discouragement in attempting to have casual sexual relationships with women and also in their pursuit of romantic relationships. Stephan Desrochers claims, in a 1995 article in the journal 383:
interpretations tend to see this resentment as being based upon an assumption by men that they are entitled to sex, and are therefore confused when they find that it is not forthcoming, despite their supposed "niceness".
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Bogaert and Fisher (1995) studied the relationships between the personalities of university men and their number of sexual partners. They found a correlation between a man's number of sexual partners, and the traits of
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Simplistically, the term "nice guy" could be an adjectival phrase describing what appears to be a friendly, kind, or courteous man. The "nice guys finish last" phrase is also said to be coined by American biologist
164:. They found that for purely sexual relationships, "niceness appeared relatively less influential than physical attractiveness". After acknowledging that women's preference for "niceness" could be inflated by the 2075: 372:
may be motivated by a simple desire to increase his sexual activity. The results of failure are often resentment toward women and/or society. The "nice guy" is commonly said to be put by women "into the
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These men believe in this motive, because of the societal roles that say women belong to them. A reasoning behind this can be because women are sexualized in video games, television, and movies.
2019: 1993: 1608: 57:, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others. In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy, and respect. 237:
Ahmetoglu and Swami (2012) found that men were rated to be more attractive if women perceived them as more dominant, represented in the study by open body posture and gesticulation.
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niceness itself is desirable to women, but tends to be used by men who are less attractive in other domains, and this is what creates the appearance of "nice guys finish last".
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in 1946, which was then condensed by journalists. The original quote by Durocher was, "The nice guys are all over there, in seventh place" (6 July 1946), when referring to the
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In two studies, Urbaniak and Kilmann found that women claimed to prefer "Nice Todd" over "Neutral Todd" and "Jerk Todd", relative to "Michael" even at differing levels of
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done by Ahmetoglu and Swami (2012) it was found that women were more sexually attracted to men who had more dominant behaviors compared to men who were more closed off.
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were asked for their preferences and what values they may look in each relationship, such as attractiveness, and sexual desires in short- and long-term relationships.
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Sprecher & Regan, S., P. C. (2002). "Liking some things (in some people) more than others: Partner preferences in romantic relationships and friendships".
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Women appear in practically all studies to be accepting of romantic relationships with nice guys, but are less likely to consider them casual sexual partners.
2136: 1728:, by Leo Durocher, with Ed Linn, Simon & Schuster, 1975, renders it as "Take a look at them. All nice guys. They'll finish last. Nice guys – finish last". 1436:
Judge, Timothy A.; Livingston, Beth A.; Hurst, Charlice, "Do nice guys—and gals—really finish last? The joint effects of sex and agreeableness on income",
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Jensen-Campbell, L. A.; Graziano, W. G.; West, S. G. (1995). "Dominance, prosocial orientation, and female preferences: Do nice guys really finish last?".
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Jensen-Campbell, L. A.; Graziano, W. G.; West, S. G. (1995). "Dominance, prosocial orientation, and female preferences: Do nice guys really finish last?".
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A 2008 study at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces showed that "nice guys" report having significantly fewer sexual partners than "bad boys".
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Botwin, M. D.; Buss, D. M.; Shackelford, T. K. (1997). "Personality and mate preferences: Five factors in mate selection and marital satisfaction".
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Herold, Edward S.; Milhausen, Robin R. (1999). "Dating preferences of university women: an analysis of the nice guy stereotype".
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Urbaniak, G. C.; Kilmann, P. R. (2003). "Physical attractiveness and the 'nice guy paradox:' Do nice guys really finish last".
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dominance and prosocial tendency. They suggest that altruism may be attractive to women when it is perceived as a form of
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Herold, E. S.; Milhausen, R. (1999). "Dating preferences of university women: An analysis of the nice guy stereotype".
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Barclay, P (2010). "Altruism as a courtship display: some effects of third-party generosity on audience perceptions".
322:, that many "sensitive" men, based on their own personal experience, do not believe women actually want "nice guys". 300:. Dawkins was misinterpreted by many as confirming the "nice guy finishing last" view, but refuted the claims in the 278:. The Giants finished the 1946 season in the National League cellar, while Durocher's Dodgers obtained second place. 267: 211:
levels. They discovered a correlation between maximum monthly number of partners, and the traits of dominance and
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they wanted more humor, expressiveness and warmth from their partner than is expressed with their friends.
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place in the National League. Many variants appear in later works, including Durocher's autobiography,
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Various studies explicitly try to elucidate the success, or lack thereof, of "nice guys" with women.
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negative aspects, considering the 'nice guy' to be boring, lacking confidence, and unattractive."
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Bogaert, A. F.; Fisher, W. A. (1995). "Predictors of university men's number of sexual partners".
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Desrochers, Stephan (1995). "What types of men are most attractive and most repulsive to women".
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https://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Why-women-cheat-Birds-stray-the-nest-and-so-do-2649728.php
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Sadalla, E. K.; Kenrick, D. T.; Venshure, B. (1987). "Dominance and heterosexual attraction".
270:, who were the Dodger's rivals. The seventh place that Durocher was referring to was actually 30:" is an informal term, commonly used with either a literal or a sarcastic meaning, for a man. 3320: 2899: 1834: 1026: 153: 1341: 2753: 1768: 1738: 103:
the "nice guy" and "jerk" constructs in different ways, some of which are outlined below.
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women looking for long-term relationships, and less status and physical attractiveness.
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McDaniel, A. K. (2005). "Young Women's Dating Behavior: Why/Why Not Date a Nice Guy?".
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and dominance in their mates than men did, in a study of dating couples and newlyweds.
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Barclay (2010) found that when all other factors are held constant, guys who perform
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McDaniel, A. K. (2005). Young Women’s Dating Behavior: Why/Why Not Date a Nice Guy?
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They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, and Misleading Attributions
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Botwin, Buss and Shackelford (1997) found that women had a higher preference for
146: 54: 1932:"Dating preferences of university women: an analysis of the nice guy stereotype" 1048:"Dating Preferences of University Women: An Analysis of the Nice Guy Stereotype" 1010: 791:"Dating preferences of university women: An analysis of the nice guy stereotype" 50: 3360: 3335: 2912: 2843: 2758: 2671: 1580: 1495: 952: 925: 456: 446: 352: 283: 100: 1947: 1900: 1850: 1596: 1522: 1441: 1299: 1240: 1181: 1122: 890: 860: 806: 764: 648: 590: 564: 46: 3394: 3370: 3315: 3147: 3109: 3094: 3055: 2570: 2369: 2339: 2265: 2250: 1955: 1908: 1858: 1604: 1415: 1307: 1248: 1189: 1165: 1130: 1106: 1071: 814: 656: 501: 216: 119: 61: 34: 1931: 1063: 790: 3345: 3279: 3228: 3178: 3168: 3063: 2884: 2856: 2833: 2788: 2633: 2608: 2575: 2537: 2464: 2397: 2344: 2308: 2290: 1963: 1916: 1452: 1423: 1079: 822: 772: 411: 389: 263: 212: 208: 1565: 632: 3163: 3099: 3045: 2917: 2879: 2851: 2828: 2773: 2695: 2382: 2318: 2270: 2245: 451: 373: 3196: 3142: 3355: 3304: 3004: 2986: 2689: 2661: 2603: 2598: 2518: 2459: 2421: 2016:"Do 27% of Europeans say rape may be acceptable in some circumstances?" 1990:"Do 27% of Europeans say rape may be acceptable in some circumstances?" 1811: 1530: 414: 183: 42: 38: 2768: 2748: 126:. They found that female attraction was a result of an interaction of 3365: 3269: 3203: 3032: 3023: 2978: 2963: 2685: 2656: 2565: 2547: 2542: 2413: 2409: 2387: 2334: 2313: 2285: 2260: 2205: 418: 70: 215:. Bogaert and Fisher suggest that an underlying construct labelled " 3350: 3340: 3325: 2861: 2813: 2733: 2300: 2255: 2158: 436: 251: 231: 123: 3223: 3173: 3040: 2945: 2783: 2681: 2585: 2501: 2425: 2417: 2280: 2042:"What romantic comedies can teach us about ourselves – Feministe" 441: 338:
reject the nice guy in favor of his 'so-called' macho competitor.
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Urbaniak, Geoffrey C.; Kilmann, Peter R. (1 November 2003).
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Jensen-Campbell et al. (1995) operationalized "niceness" as
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S. Herold, Robin R. Milhausen, Edward (1 September 1999).
376:" who do not reciprocate his romantic or sexual interest. 2805: 789:
Herold, Edward S.; Milhausen, Robin R. (1 October 1999).
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According to journalist Paris Martineau, in 2018, the
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When used negatively, a nice guy implies a man who is
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In the literal sense, the term describes a man who is
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Jr.; George, John (1989). 865: 746: 744: 546: 544: 542: 540: 538: 2096: 1485: 1877: 1281: 1222: 965: 692:"When nice guys are sexist with a smile" 550: 152:Urbaniak and Killman (2003) constructed 1628: 1626: 1401: 1373:"Bad guys really do get the most girls" 741: 710: 535: 333:In 2003, Urbaniak & Kilmann wrote: 3393: 106: 3253: 2722: 2721: 2218: 2162: 2022:from the original on 6 September 2022 1996:from the original on 6 September 2022 1970:from the original on 20 November 2021 1777:from the original on 20 November 2021 1705:. New York: Oxford University Press. 1611:from the original on 6 September 2022 1370: 1322:from the original on 6 September 2022 1282:McDaniel, Anita K. (September 2005). 1263:from the original on 6 September 2022 1223:McDaniel, Anita K. 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Archived from 1352:from the original on 17 May 2020 246:The "nice guys finish last" view 2698:(self styled captain, braggart) 2129: 2103:. Routledge. pp. 186–187. 2090: 2064: 2034: 2008: 1982: 1923: 1839:Social Behavior and Personality 1826: 1761: 1731: 1719: 1690: 1678: 1648: 1585:Social Behavior and Personality 1572: 1537: 1502: 1465: 1430: 1395: 1383:from the original on 2 May 2015 1364: 1334: 1275: 1216: 1157: 1098: 1039: 990: 959: 932: 905: 397:Heartless Bitches International 207:, physical attractiveness, and 841: 683: 624: 605: 589:. 12 July 2005. Archived from 579: 78:Research on female preferences 1: 1404:British Journal of Psychology 1371:Inman, Mason (18 June 2008). 528: 497:Extraversion and introversion 395:In early 2002, the web site 7: 3421:Interpersonal relationships 3202: 3069:Elderly martial arts master 2764:Hooker with a heart of gold 1633:The Yale Book of Quotations 1342:"Why Nice Guys Finish Last" 1011:10.1177/0265407502019004048 719:"The Friend Zone is Sexist" 424: 99:Researchers have therefore 65:man" and insensitive type. 10: 3452: 3254: 1496:10.1037/0022-3514.52.4.730 966:DiDonato PhD, Theresa. E. 953:10.1037/0022-3514.68.3.427 926:10.1037/0022-3514.68.3.427 613:http://nomoremrniceguy.com 225:Big Five personality model 18: 16:Term in popular psychology 3260: 3249: 3214: 3187: 3156: 3133: 3077: 3054: 3031: 3022: 2995: 2977: 2954: 2931: 2898: 2870: 2842: 2804: 2741: 2732: 2728: 2717: 2644: 2584: 2556: 2527: 2509: 2500: 2475: 2435: 2396: 2368: 2359: 2327: 2299: 2238: 2229: 2225: 2214: 2196: 2097:Whittaker, Jason (2004). 1948:10.1080/00926239908404010 1901:10.1080/00926239908404010 1851:10.2224/sbp.2012.40.4.667 1597:10.2224/sbp.2012.40.4.667 1523:10.1080/00224499509551782 1300:10.1007/s11199-005-6758-z 1241:10.1007/s11199-005-6758-z 861:10.1007/s11199-005-6758-z 807:10.1080/00926239908404010 765:10.1080/00926239908404010 565:10.1007/s11199-005-6758-z 21:Nice Guy (disambiguation) 1458:15 December 2011 at the 1447:6 September 2022 at the 1416:10.1348/000712609x435733 166:social desirability bias 2100:The cyberspace handbook 1511:Journal of Sex Research 1182:10.1023/a:1025894203368 1123:10.1023/a:1025894203368 1064:10.1080/009262399278788 891:10.1023/A:1025894203368 649:10.1023/A:1025894203368 618:1 December 2019 at the 410:movements, part of the 353:sociosexual orientation 162:physical attractiveness 3416:Psychological attitude 3401:Intimate relationships 2796:Manic Pixie Dream Girl 2220:By ethics and morality 1770:Nice Guys Finish First 1743:Baseball-Reference.com 1546:Journal of Personality 587:"No More Mr. Nice Guy" 340: 307:Nice Guys Finish First 3436:Male stock characters 1726:Nice Guys Finish Last 1685:N.Y. Journal American 335: 294:, who wrote the book 276:Nice Guys Finish Last 256:nice guys finish last 2018:. 30 November 2016. 1992:. 30 November 2016. 1440:, 28 November 2011 ( 611:Glover, Dr. Robert, 268:1946 New York Giants 83:"Nice guy" construct 19:For other uses, see 3010:Princess and dragon 2908:Princesse lointaine 2408:(servants, clowns: 2378:Gentleman detective 2052:on 26 November 2011 1642:11 May 2020 at the 492:Ben Franklin effect 487:Alpha and beta male 472:Moral disengagement 381:Third-wave feminist 367:"Nice guy" syndrome 288:selfish gene theory 107:Results of research 3431:Stereotypes of men 3411:Popular psychology 3295:Identity formation 3085:American mappillai 2997:Damsel in distress 2779:Magical girlfriend 2684:(wealthy old men, 1812:10.1007/BF01544603 729:on 5 December 2014 593:on 17 January 2013 116:prosocial behavior 3426:Sexual attraction 3388: 3387: 3384: 3383: 3265:Adolescent clique 3245: 3244: 3241: 3240: 3237: 3236: 3018: 3017: 2754:Farmer's daughter 2723:By sex and gender 2713: 2712: 2709: 2708: 2705: 2704: 2496: 2495: 2355: 2354: 2276:Mythological king 2110:978-0-415-16835-9 1712:978-0-19-505541-2 1410:(Pt 1): 123–135. 1176:(9/10): 413–426. 1117:(9/10): 413–426. 885:(9–10): 413–426. 507:Neckbeard (slang) 477:Might makes right 221:conscientiousness 201:sensation-seeking 118:, which included 55:emotional support 3443: 3311:Little green men 3300:Imaginary friend 3251: 3250: 3207: 3029: 3028: 2969:Mammy stereotype 2923:Yamato nadeshiko 2739: 2738: 2730: 2729: 2719: 2718: 2594:Bug-eyed monster 2558:Social Darwinist 2507: 2506: 2483:Good cop/bad cop 2366: 2365: 2236: 2235: 2227: 2226: 2216: 2215: 2190:Stock characters 2183: 2176: 2169: 2160: 2159: 2153: 2152: 2150: 2148: 2133: 2127: 2126: 2124: 2122: 2094: 2088: 2087: 2085: 2083: 2068: 2062: 2061: 2059: 2057: 2048:. 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Index

Nice Guy (disambiguation)
agreeable
gentle
compassionate
sensitive
vulnerable
emotional support
unassertive
etiquette
operationalized
prosocial behavior
agreeableness
altruism
agentic
Milhausen
vignettes
physical attractiveness
social desirability bias
generous
sensation-seeking
hypermasculinity
testosterone
psychoticism
disinhibition
conscientiousness
Big Five personality model
surgency
aphorism
nice guys finish last
Brooklyn Dodgers

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