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is in a coma, is completely pale, has complete muscle atrophy and severe retardation. The doctor then states that he's "never seen a recovery from someone this weak and this untalented." In this episode Conan finds out he has a long lost brother named Eric Ochoa, the most pale of all. He secretly fights crime in the west coast known as the "pale Kight". Jim then starts reminiscing about the "good times" they had together, Most of which involve O'Brien either wetting himself or running scared. One of the machines starts beeping and a nurse explains that his urine count is off the chart, and suggests that giving Jim a spongebath Would help. It then turns to a Fox news report by Greta Van
Sustren, saying that Writer, Actor, Comedian Jim Gaffigan's Lesser Known Sidekick, Conan O'Brien, has fallen into a severe coma, and that petitions have been circulating to pull the plug as soon as possible, it then shows Jay Leno passing a petition around the crowd. She then reports that Conan is sure to die unless he personally funds another series of pale force...to be continued?
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necessary for Jim to be presented in front of the Legion of Pale, where he is banished to the shade cave. At the cave, Hoffman (dressed as Jim) is about to blow up the cave when Conan comes out, thoroughly confused. Jim comes out of the cave, and Conan, now with a revolver in his hand, must decide which one is the imposter and which is the real Jim. They go back and forth saying "facts" about Conan that are generally very wimpy attributes such as "you have ambiguous genitalia." Jim saves the day because Conan's gun is made of chocolate.
723:!" With his holiday spirit broken, Conan arrives at a bridge and meets Jimmy Stewart, who greets him with "What's the matter little girl?" and tells him "Why don't you jump off the bridge and kill yourself? That's what I'd do you pale freak." At this moment Conan wishes he had never been pale. Suddenly his skin becomes tanned, and Jim appears to show him what Conan's life would be if he had never been pale. First he takes him to the set of
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571:. Jim scolds Conan for touching it, saying it is needed to fight crime in the future. Conan wishes he could be in a world where people would appreciate him as he accidentally trips the switch on the time machine and is transported to 17th century England. Conan arrives naked in the year 1665 inside of
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opens with two robbers stealing a diamond. Jim and Conan shine their chests at the robbers and blind them with whiteness. Later, Lady Bronze, the main villain in the series, captures Conan and Jim comes to save him. It is ended on a cliffhanger with Lady Bronze saying "Jim don’t kill me, I love you,"
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In this episode Philip
Seymour Hoffman seeks revenge on Jim for having to live in his shadow. He decides to use his "acting powers" to imitate Jim and give him a bad reputation. After Hoffman successfully touts about town drinking alcohol and doing other questionable activities dressed as Jim, it is
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While Jim is having a party in the hot tub, Conan is sitting aside reading a book, entitled "Starting
Puberty in Your 40's". A stray beach ball bounces out of the hot tub and lightly taps Conan on the head, knocking him unconscious. He is then seen in a hospital bed, the doctor announces that Conan
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All the episodes are available on Pale Force's website, while some (usually the first part of a story) are shown when
Gaffigan appears on O'Brien's show as guest. There, most of the dialogue between the two consists of Gaffigan trying to explain to O'Brien that his character is pivotal in the show.
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when Pale Force saves
President Lincoln's sculpture from being vandalized. Meanwhile, Conan only is given a small, embarrassing statue. Conan regains confidence when Jim shows up to the sidekick support program and says he always felt like he was Conan's sidekick. Jim declares that both members of
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Jim introduces this episode as how Conan joined Pale Force. It starts with Conan watching Pale Man, which is a show only starring Jim and has a different theme song. Conan then leaves his house and is bullied by children about half of his size. Jim then saves Conan and teaches him to use his pale
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Jim immediately rushes to the scene of the carnival. After mistaking several other red-topped, pale carnival fixtures for his companion, and mistaking the squeak of a rocking carnival ride for Conan's voice crying "Jim! Help!", he spots Conan performing a terrible self-mocking song (written to
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and others who were also fired. Conan then wishes that he was pale again. A slice of white bread then appears and says that it's his "Fairy White Bread" and that to be pale again Conan must eat him with Mayo. Conan becomes pale again and starts to sing "Christmas is the Palest Time of Year" with
312:(who looks like Gaffigan). While there are a multitude of characters in the animations, most of the voice acting is done by Gaffigan. While Gaffigan is drawn as a muscular, tall man, O'Brien is scrawny and always crying and saying lines such as "Jim, help me!", and often wetting himself.
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and Wilmer
Valderrama unanimously crown Conan the winner. After the competition, Wilmer Valderrama propositions Conan to make good on his promise and become tan. Jim interrupts and punches Valderrama out. Conan then gives Jim his victory bouquet which Jim proceeds to eat.
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have all become strikingly tan over the last year and have also become increasingly promiscuous. Their connection- they were all participants in the Miss Pale
America pageant. Jim nominates Conan to infiltrate the pageant dressed in drag to retrieve valuable information.
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agreement to continue to work for him. At first Conan is intrigued, but he opts instead to leave the puppet show and return as Jim's sidekick. When
Calzone overhears Conan apologizing to, and preparing to leave, Coneena the puppet, he quickly assembles a pitiful Jim
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has changed its name to "Gafganistan". Rose reveals that he had recently done interviews with Pale Force's nemesis Lady Bronze. Bronze says that she only hates pale people and that shouldn't take away from all of the work she's done for non-pale children. During the
809:, but soon realizes Zucker has abandoned him and that he is alone. Terrified, he screams at and flees from, in succession, a clown, a harmless child with a balloon, and a potted flower; but at the brink of despair he finds himself counseled by kindly
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Conan has a chat with a woman online and falls in love instantly. He thinks it's some pretty woman when the woman sends a picture of a stick figure drawing. It turns out to actually be Lady Bronze. Jim, who is in the hot tub with
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levels in any contestant, therefore, no competitor had a penis or testicles, much to Conan's chagrin. When other Miss Pale
America contestants make fun of Conan's hair, he runs off crying. Once outside, Conan is encountered by
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O'Brien frequently complains about how wimpy and incompetent his character is (he is not involved in the creation of the animation). One of
Gaffigan's retorts to this was "if it's not true to life, people won’t believe it."
559:. During this flashback, Rose says that two years from this point he will be interviewing Pale Force. The show returns to a dumbfounded Pale Force. Rose then bids his audience adieu and the show closes.
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in his final statements to Calzone, stating "I'm a talented artist who deserves respect and fair compensation. I'm not just a tool for you to use to make money." This scene is barely ended when it is
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Meanwhile, Jim suspects Zucker and demands in Zucker's office to know what happened to Conan. When Zucker demurs that Conan must be "just out picking daisies", skeptical Jim grabs Zucker by the
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Jim Gaffigan and Conan O'Brien are a crime-fighting duo with the "superpower" of paleness. They can also shoot lasers out of their nipples. They fight criminals such as Lady Bronze ("voiced by
395:(who is not actually pale but makes a quip about Conan). Lady Bronze captures the duo later in the episode, and Conan saves them by breaking the machinery they are tied to through urination.
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735:. When Conan says "A host of The View what could possibly be more humiliating.", Death shows him his tombstone which reads "Conan O'Brien - Fired from 'The View'", next to
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is a sign of sophistication. Jim questions who will do his ironing, prompting Conan to agree to go back to modern times. Conan cleans the Shade Cave while Jim takes a
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immediately to a scene of Zucker happily counting money while Conan sits humbled atop his desk, comedically neutering the WGA strike and its implied position.
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admire Conan for his femininity and pale complexion. Conan enjoys the newfound attention and exclaims, "Wow, real friends!" Conan becomes part of a
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and deceives Conan into climbing into a birdcage. Foolish Conan climbs in, and Calzoni activates a padlock, trapping him inside. Conan despairs.
827:"You're weird and weak and have no friends / And so you're feeling blue / But if you sing this song with us / Your mood will slightly improve."
895:) onstage for Calzone and an adoring crowd. Jim intervenes, and Conan, set free, apologizes to Coneena and leaves. Conan references the 2007
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of the song, then he and the puppets join in singing together. A crowd gathers, with one woman remarking to her husband, "Look, honey. That
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and demands more forcefully to know where Conan is, calling Zucker a "silly, stupid old man". This scene continues NBC's long legacy of
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tell him that he will be there until he is skin and bones and in a pool of his own urine, to which Conan cries, "I already am."
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thinks the puppets are real." But the crowd is entertained and throws a large amount of money in a bucket in front of the
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When she goes over to The Shade Cave, she tricks him and traps him. Jim, however, comes to the rescue and makes a spoof of
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and breaks Conan out of prison. The duo is confronted by the king who propositions Conan to stay in an age where pale,
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to show its approval. The puppet show owner, a balding, rotund, swarthy-skinned character named
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because he was so popular in High School. Jim then tells him that he is one of the hosts of
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who forces Conan to get into his car. Jim and Larry Bird watch the situation unfold from a
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When Zucker comes across a fake coin, he then awards it to Conan as his piece of "NBC
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Jim goes to the Legion of Pale with some disturbing information. Once-pale stars
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Pale Force will be treated as equals. Jim then goes to Mexico in a Conan-powered-
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near the end of the movie). However, he is mocked by everybody (including
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power. Jim presents him to the Legion Of Pale (name reminiscent to the
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813:"Slimon the Fox", "Max the Giant", red-haired and pale female puppet
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and abandons him there. At first, Conan is charmed by sightings of
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which performs in front of the royal family. Conan is locked in the
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Once at the competition, a doctor announces that in addition to the
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playing along with the irreverent show gags that reference them
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is even less popular than cancer, Zucker, shown seated in a
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Its humor was derived from "paleness" of both Gaffigan and
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to which he responds "You don’t love me, you love crime."
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The Miss Pale America Pageant begins with a monologue by
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Lyrics to first verse of the puppet self-love song:
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Episode 23, 24 & 25: Law & Order: Pale Force
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296:, and the original music was done by Patrick Noth.
555:, Rose rolls another tape of his interview with a
521:for the talent portion of the competition. Judges
567:While cleaning the Shade Cave, Conan discovers a
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1246:Paul Shaffer and the World's Most Dangerous Band
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744:Episode 20, 21 & 22: Pale Force The Movie
687:and his head falls off, but is on a spring.
89:introducing citations to additional sources
533:
50:Learn how and when to remove these messages
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1164:
763:Episode 27, 28 & 29: Flapjacks for Jim
441:Episode 9, 10 & 11: Miss Massachusetts
277:was a series of short animations starring
260:Learn how and when to remove this message
242:Learn how and when to remove this message
79:Relevant discussion may be found on the
773:Episode 31, 32 & 33: Carnival Conan
691:Episode 17, 18 & 19: Pale Christmas
563:Episode 13 & 14: Conan and the King
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713:) for his paleness, and fired by boss
178:Please improve this article by adding
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617:men rule the world and wetting one's
412:Distraught, Conan finds solace in a
338:Episode 3 & 4: Pale Force Begins
151:
56:
15:
13:
846:, notices and soon offers Conan a
633:Episode 15 & 16: Conan in Love
325:Episode 1 & 2: Meet Pale Force
14:
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1151:Pale Force HQ at Jim Gaffigan.com
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31:This article has multiple issues.
1054:Other prominent persons featured
399:Episode 5 & 6: Pale Imposter
156:
72:relies largely or entirely on a
61:
20:
1204:Late Night with David Letterman
830:Conan sings a self-referencing
39:or discuss these issues on the
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711:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
1:
1586:American animated short films
1581:Late Night with Conan O'Brien
1212:Late Night with Conan O'Brien
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921:Members of the Legion of Pale
725:Late Night with Conan O'Brien
478:take Conan shopping. After a
284:Late Night with Conan O'Brien
180:secondary or tertiary sources
1509:Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
1220:Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
875:. After telling an initial
538:Jim and Conan appear on the
408:Episode 7 & 8: Sidekicks
7:
1228:Late Night with Seth Meyers
1037:, also shown separately as
754:Episode 26: The Cliffhanger
679:. It ends in hilarity when
416:support program, featuring
319:
299:
10:
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1606:1990s animated short films
1601:2000s animated short films
1544:host and timeslot conflict
998:Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg
768:Episode 30: Maine vs. Utah
489:, there were no irregular
393:Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg
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1269:
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1469:Conan O'Brien's sketches
897:Writers Guild of America
534:Episode 12: Charlie Rose
347:), with members such as
1474:Jimmy Fallon's sketches
943:Philip Seymour Hoffman
389:Philip Seymour Hoffman
310:Philip Seymour Hoffman
167:relies excessively on
1550:The Amber Ruffin Show
785:notices by reading a
698:It's a Wonderful Life
329:The first episode of
1596:Talk show characters
85:improve this article
885:I've Got No Strings
797:supervillain-style
740:other pale people.
672:To Catch a Predator
664:Sally Jessy Raphael
1514:Who Made Huckabee?
1251:The Max Weinberg 7
939:girl community rep
683:turns out to be a
575:. He hops into an
451:Scarlett Johansson
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1035:The White Stripes
573:Buckingham Palace
496:Wilmer Valderrama
353:The White Stripes
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993:Christina Ricci
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695:In a parody of
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1231:(2014–present)
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1261:The 8G Band
1215:(1993–2009)
1110:, Known as
1104:Howdy Doody
1070:Jeff Zucker
1013:Santa Claus
970:John McCain
891:version of
889:Walt Disney
853:sock puppet
789:chart that
783:Jeff Zucker
715:Jeff Zucker
644:George Bush
548:Afghanistan
542:talk show,
527:Elijah Wood
369:Santa Claus
365:John McCain
306:Eartha Kitt
1575:Categories
1496:Pale Force
1188:Late Night
1132:Pale Force
1119:References
1043:Jack White
1019:polar bear
954:Elton John
948:Ron Howard
927:Larry Bird
883:resemble "
868:executives
799:wheelchair
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781:President
737:Star Jones
660:Tom Arnold
652:The Scream
648:Laura Bush
615:effeminate
607:Cinderella
515:glass harp
455:Clay Aiken
385:polar bear
373:Elton John
357:Larry Bird
349:Ron Howard
331:Pale Force
274:Pale Force
232:March 2007
202:newspapers
169:references
141:March 2007
111:newspapers
36:improve it
1256:The Roots
1223:(2009–14)
1207:(1982–93)
1039:Meg White
893:Pinocchio
819:self-love
807:B.D. Wong
553:flashback
511:Danny Boy
422:Chewbacca
294:Paul Noth
81:talk page
42:talk page
1562:Category
1483:See also
1462:Sketches
1282:Season 1
1270:Episodes
1060:Jay Leno
1017:Talking
968:Senator
836:manchild
803:carnival
733:The View
656:Yoko Ono
619:breeches
557:USB port
435:rickshaw
414:sidekick
320:Episodes
300:Synopsis
1389:2013–14
1277:O'Brien
912:profits
864:lampoon
844:Calzone
815:Coneena
729:Harvard
623:hot tub
596:bobbies
581:dandies
308:") and
290:O'Brien
216:scholar
125:scholar
1396:Meyers
1364:Fallon
905:segued
900:strike
860:lapels
832:stanza
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611:armor
588:choir
513:on a
502:van.
223:JSTOR
209:books
132:JSTOR
118:books
1533:film
1451:2024
1446:2023
1441:2022
1436:2021
1431:2020
1426:2019
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1416:2017
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1369:2009
1136:IMDb
1041:and
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952:Sir
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709:and
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383:, a
381:Utah
195:news
104:news
1134:at
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877:lie
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540:PBS
171:to
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